Keep your pregnancyTo be perfectly honest, I wasn't looking forward to pregnancy. Aside from growing to the size of Sweden and losing the ability to walk more than ten yards without stopping for a breather, it's a scientific fact that pregnant women don't just develop babies in their wombs, but hand magnets as well. I'm not one of those people who has a thing about being touched, you understand conception's rather more difficult if you do but why whenever people see a pregnant friend, or even someone they barely know, do they feel like they've got a sudden and irrefutable right to engage in the middle class equivalent of happy slapping? We don't rustle someone's hair after they've just spent £140 at Mark Scott or stamp on their toes when they've taken out a second mortgage for a pair of Manolos, so why do we lurch for the gut whenever we see a kangaroo impression?
'I felt him kick!' they gleefully explain time and again, largely oblivious to the fact that the thing he's kicking is me a