Mass Effect: Mindoir's Child
Chapter One - Insertion
Aboard the Alliance vessel SSV Trafalgar, Lieutenant Shepherd gave her gear a final check as she leant against the first of the frigate's eight M 35 Mako rovers locked down in the vessel's cargo bay. The vehicle had a bad representation as far as handling went, but Shepherd had few difficulties behind the wheel and so long as it kept moving, it was practically indestructible as far as small arms fire went.
And it has thrusters jets now, she reminded herself as if for the first time. The Trafalgar was pioneering a new insertion manoeuvre today and Shepherd was at the forefront of it. As an N6 operative, she was the most capable spec-ops soldier onboard and so the Alliance brass had seen fit to 'honour' her with the first field test of the Mako's new ability. Shepherd had already checked the rover's equipment earlier with the technicians and was reasonably sure the plan would work. If any one of a hundred things don't go wro
Crack Commander ShepherdThough Shepherd's official file states that her parents are unknown, in truth they were killed when Shepherd was seven in a badly-driven shuttle piloted by an Asari cab-driver named Bob. Shepherd was killed as well and only survives today after being brought back to life by the Lassie Project funded by the Innumerable Men, a secretive group of Two and a Half Men with unusual pseudonyms, a varied filmography, money to burn and corporate interests in Noverian slushies, Tuchankyan Irn-Bru and Jeri Ryan. It was during her time spent living with T.I.M. that she developed her talent for Air-fix models and starving innocent but needy fish.
The Innumerable Men committed suicide after their holonet show was cancelled and Shepherd was left with the beginnings of her own sitcom featuring a Krogan housemaid, retired Quarian stripper and Solarian neighbours with a penchant for power ballads. Filming ceased when the Quarian got carried away and actually removed clothing including her mask leading to
How to PooHOW TO POO LIKE A WOMAN
1. Do not poo anywhere except your own toilet. There is no guarantee other toilets have been disinfected and soundproofed.
2. Never inform people you are going to poo. Never poo when guests are present. If caught on way to/on/leaving toilet deny all knowledge of poo.
3. Before pooing, check toilet seat is down, flush once for a fresh bowl and ensure toilet roll supply is adequate. You may wish to line the seat with toilet roll. You may also layer toilet roll into bowl to ensure quieter droppage.
4. Whilst pooing remain silent. You may read interesting articles from nearby publications but these must have been carefully selected beforehand to ensure guests have the best impression of your reading habits.
5. When wiping, use enough paper roll to mummify a small child thus ensuring no poo shall touch finger. Do not look.
6. Wash hands thoroughly.
8. Spray inoffensive yet powerful deodoriser liberally before exiting room. Ensure no evidence of act
An insight into rankWith just over three years behind her as master and commander of the UESCA frigate Sweden, Aylsa Argyle had her promotion to Post Captain confirmed by flash-com almost four months ago meaning that short of gross misconduct or death, her promotion to the Admiralty was almost a certainly in time. It was only now that the Sweden had returned to Earth for retrofitting however that she would face the official ceremony of 'taking post' where an overlong and unnecessary event would publicise her exploits. Despite that the promotion would mean little in the short term beyond a salary increase. Though her posting would appear in the UESCA Chronicle, no one would refer to her as, 'Post Captain Argyle,' and as she was still the most junior post captain in the fleet, the odds of being given a larger ship to command were slim.
Not that this bothered the officer. She had spent five years aboard the Ireland-class frigate and though her quarters were undoubtedly more cramped than those afforded the ca
Alien religionYu looked at the Rheian who sat across the table from her. Like almost all the species of the galaxy she was humanoid but typical of most officers in the Rheian'ala, the enormous fleet matched only in power by the Allonae Alliance, she was shorter than Yu at only five and a half feet. The leathery dark red skin and blackened forehead however, hinted at the fact that the alien was more than capable of tearing her apart if she so chose. The military orientated culture of the Rheian had little place for those not demonstrating excellence of physical fitness in its dealings with other cultures and so even the fact that Marnata was a diplomat ensured she was classed as a soldier first. Yu had long ago begun to accept the differences in culture between galactic races but their present conversation was new to her.
'The majority of human faiths see God as merciful in its execution.'
Marnata shrugged. 'Perhaps your God is.'
'Are you saying your view of God could be wrong?'
'No, that is not poss